Len gets sick
by convoluted disillusions
Summary: It all starts with a 'Len' and ends with a 'Lol.' Rated T for language.
1. Len is sick

To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Lenny!

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Leeen~

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Hey, hey, hey! Lenny-boo, why aren't you in school?

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To: Idiot

From: Len

Because I'm sick.

Now will you please stop texting me? It's giving me a headache.

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Oh my, My Lenny is sick?

Wait for me- just wait for me, okay?

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To: Idiot

From: Len

What? Why? What are you doing?

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Going there to take care of you, of course!

Now, I don't want you dying because of HIV that you got when you fucked a whore when we fought, or when a squirrel scratches you to death because you are weak and defenseless, or suddenly stabbing yourself with a knife and then bleeding to death, or your long lost evil twin from the 18th dimension choking you because you ate his dog, do I?

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To: Idiot

From: Len

No. You are going to stay where you are, and you are not going _anywhere_ near me.

Got it?

(God, what the hell do you think of in that pretty little head of yours?)

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

You called me pretty! :D

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To: Idiot

From: Len

I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME HERE.

STOP KNOCKING AND GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND READ NUMBERS OR DRAW THE CHEMICAL COMPONENT OF PI, OR SOMETHING.

DAMMIT.

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Only if you open the door, sweetheart!

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Len?

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

I'M SORRY THAT I ANNOYED YOU WITH MY LOVE.

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To: Idiot

From: Len

Still nope.

I love you and all, but yeah, SUCK IT.

I NEED MY SLEEP, DAMMIT.

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

WAIT- I HAVE KEYS FOR YOUR HOUSE.

YES. THANK YOU, GOD OR WHATEVER THEY CALL YOU ALLAH (A/N; Um.. no offense?)

Now I can take care of my baby~

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To: Idiot

From: Len

WHAT- HOW- WHEN- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-

OH GOD, MY GIRLFRIEND IS A STALKER.

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Geez.

Now, Lenny, where are the pots?

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To: Idiot

From: Len

It's in the cabinet near the kitchen's sink.

Why?

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

It's a surprise~

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

DAMMIT, LEN. CALM. DOWN.

SIT DOWN ON THE CHAIR AND BREATHE NORMALLY.

INHALE.

EXHALE.

INHALE.

EXHALE.

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To: Idiot

From: Len

How the hell am I supposed to calm down WHEN YOU ARE PLANNING TO FEED ME HELL

THIS IS MURDER-

STAY AWAY-

DON'T TOUCH ME- NO! DO NOT PUT THAT BOWL ANY CLOSER OR ELSE I WILL THROW THIS PAN AT YOU

HOLY- IT SMELLS LIKE DOG POOP MIXED WITH BABY PISS AND COYOTE SALIVA

RIN- OH MY GOD!

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

... I guess I'll just have to pin you down, then.

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To: Hell's Chef

From: Len

DO. NOT. COOK. EVER. AGAIN.

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty... Chef!

Whatever, Lenny~ I know you loved it!

Anyways, my dad's calling and I have to go now.

Take care, sweetheart! :):

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To: Ponytail

From: Mikuo Ha(wesome)tsune

How was your quote unquote sick day?

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To: Teal Bastard #1

From: Len

... I am not doing that ever again.

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To: Ponytail

From: Mikuo Ha(wesome)tsune

What? Why?

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To: Teal Bastard #1

From: Len

Girldfriend.

(As much as I love her, she's a handful... SERIOUSLY.)

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To: Ponytail

From: Mikuo Ha(wesome)tsune

Oh. Lol.

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To: Lenny-kins

From: Rin the Almighty!

Oh, and say thanks to Mikuo for me!

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To: Teal Bastard #1

From: Len

What did you-

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To: STUPID Ponytail

From: Mikuo Ha(wesome)tsune

Lol.

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To: Teal Bastard #1

From: Len

I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR FRIEND!

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To: STUPID Ponytail

From: Mikuo Ha(wesome)tsune

Lol.

* * *

_Um. Hi?_

_I TRIED TO BE FUNNY, I REALLY DID. I'M SORRY._


	2. Rin Smile Alot Kagami

**_Disc: I do not own anything. _**

* * *

_Friday, March 18, 2011 - 4:59 PM__

* * *

_From: Rin

To: Len

Len, are you mad at me?

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From: Rin

To: Len

Len?

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From: Rin

To: Len

:(

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From: Rin

To: Len

:(

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From: Rin

To: Len

:(

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From: Rin

To: Len

:(

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From: Len

To: Rin

Rin, what is with you and those smileys?

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From: Rin

To: Len

:D

You replied!

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From: Len

To: Rin

Okay fine, not going to reply.

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From: Rin

To: Len

But!

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From: Rin

To: Len

:(

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From: Rin

To: Len

:(

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From: Len

To: Rin

That is just wasting money.

A Lot of money.

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From: Rin

To : Len

Help me, Len!

I'm being kidnapped by a dragon!

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From: Len

To: Rin

Oh come on, it's for the better of the world.

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From: Rin

To : Len

Just when I'm being kidnapped, you decide to become mean.

You meanie!1!one!11

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From: Rin

To : Len

Lennn~

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From: Rin

To : Len

Come and save me, Len~

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From: Rin

To : Len

Lennnn~

LLLLLEEEEENNNNN!

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From: Rin

To : Len

Fine, my knight in shining armor won't be you anymore.

Yeah that's right, be jealous.

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From: Len

To : Rin

I was your knight in shining armor . . . . ?

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From: Rin

To: Len

_Was_.

Now, it's my freaking rainbow haired unicorn.

_You jelly?_

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From: Rin

To: Len

As if those exist.

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From: Rin

To : Len

SHUNNN~

SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!

SSSHHHUUUNNN!

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From: Len

To: Rin

Charlie the unicorn reference, great.

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From: Rin

To : Len

Len Kagamine used 'insult'. It was ineffective! You used 'Epic sword skills (Ninja Mode)'. It was super effective! Len Kagamine is dead! You received 642278289 xp!

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From: Len

To : Rin

Now, Pokemon reference.

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From: Rin

To : Len

I'm crazy.

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From: Rin

To : Len

Yes, we all know that.

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From: Rin

To : Len

Crazy in love with you! *insert heart here*

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From: Len

To : Rin

Just go and talk with Miku or something.

Because that completely grossed me out.

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From: Rin

To : Len

Fine~

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From: Rin

To: Miku

Hey Miku, what are you doing now? :D

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From: Miku

To: Rin

It's my fanfiction time now, Rinny!

Do not disturb.

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From: Rin

To: Miku

What the hell is 'fanfiction'?

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From: Miku

To: Rin

DND!

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From: Rin

To: Miku

Fine, I'll just go and google it.

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From: Rin

To: Miku

Are those really what they are . . . . ?

O/O

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From:Miku

To: Rin

What?

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From: Miku

To: Rin

You know, 69 . . . ?

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From: Miku

To Rin

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Maybe . . . . . . . . . .

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From: Rin

To: Miku

And that means yes.

* * *

_**A/N; You can kill me now.**_


	3. Miku meets a new friend

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything.**

* * *

From: 012345678

To: Miku Hatsune

Hi, wanna be friends?

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From: Miku Hatsune

To: 012345678

Sure! I'm Miku, by the way! What's your name?

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From: 012345678

To: Miku Hatsune

Nice to meet you, Miku! HAHAHAHA

Uh, I'm Ri- Rinto. Yeah, I'm Rinto!

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To: Rinto

From: Miku

So, Rinto, What do you like?

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From: Rinto

To: Miku

Uh, I like rai- the rain .. Oh, and I like horses. Yeah, horses are nice.

But, I UNDOUBTEDLY like Rock and Metal music and all that shit that boys like- SINCE I AM A BOY! HAHA YEAH

Am I funny

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From: Miku

To: Rinto

Ooh, Horses! I don't really like the ones with saliva all over the mouths and looked like they just FK-ed with another horse, 'cause that's just disgusting! But I really love unicorns.

Gah, boys. You're a boy? I thought you were a girl .. Since you text like a friend of mine!

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From: Rinto

To: Miku

But they don't exist.

Pfft- No way, I do not text like Rin Kagamine for your information! PFFT- NO WAY!

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From: Miku

To: Rinto

THEY DO! THEY'RE JUST THERE EXCEPT YOU CAN'T SEE IT!

Wait- You know my Cutiepie-Rinny-kins? HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS TALKING ABOUT HER, OH EM!

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From: Rinto

To: Miku

AHH! I get your point! UNICORNS AWW YEAH!

UH UM Y-YEAH DUH SHE'S LIKE FAMOUS HERE DIDN'T YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO PERFECT! I-I have my sources.. Uh, yeah.

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From: Miku

To: Rinto:

.. Are you gay?

MY HONEYBUNCH-SWEETIEPIE-RINNY-KINS IS FAMOUS? OH MY, I DIDN'T KNOW! WHAT KIND OF A LOVELY ONEE-CHAN AM I ACTING LIKE! I CANNOT JUST SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING WHILE MY RINNY IS OBVIOUSLY BEING WANTED AND LUSTED BY EVERY MAN ON EARTH! SWEET JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL! I won't let anyone get away with my cuddly-doodle-Rinny!

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From: Rinto

To: Miku

NO WAY! I'm totally manly, You know what? I'D EVEN SEND YOU A PICTURE! HOW 'BOUT THAT, HUH?

.. Yeah, right. /snort

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From: Miku

To: Rinto

ALRIGHT, BRING IT ON, "MANLY"!

No, but really! I already have the annoying-shouta-Len following her around! (1) I CAN'T LET OTHER GUYS STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME!

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From: Rinto

To: Miku

THISISME . jpg

FOR YOU TO BASK AND DROOL OVER!

.. okay, see you, Miku.

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From: Miku

To: Rinto

HOT DAMN, MAN! YOU LOOK HOT, LIKE THE CRISPY LISCIOUS HOT CHICKEN FROM MCDONALDS!

Yeah, Rinto! We should totally meet ;)

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From: Miku

To: Luka

Luka-kins! GUESS WHAT?

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From: Luka

To: Miku

Geez, what now?

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From: Miku

To: Luka

I JUST MADE A NEW FRIEND!

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From: Luka

To: Miku

.. That really isn't much of a surprise being the HUGE blabbermouth you are, you know.

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From: Miku

To: Luka

.. THROUGH MY CELLPHONE!

I mean he randomly texted me and asked if we could be friends!

I OBVIOUSLY SAID YES BECAUSE HE'S SO HOT!

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From: Luka

To: Miku

PICS (and other info) OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

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From: Miku

To: Luka

Re:THISISME . jpg

His name is Rinto! And he texts like Rin.. but BLAH!

HE'S SO HOT!

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From: Luka

To: Miku

God, you're such an idiot.

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From: Miku

To: Luka

What? :(

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From: Luka

To: Miku

Look, this probably Rin was laughing her ass of in the living room a while ago.

The picture "he" sent you, was obviously Chris Pine.

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From: Miku

To: Luka

.. Oh, the dude from Star Trek?

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From: Luka

To: Miku

Yeah. And remember how you told me that "he" texts just like RIN and his name is RINto and DO YOU REMEMBER HOW RIN IS ABSOLUTELY BAD AT MAKING NAMES/WORDS UP?

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From: Miku

To: Luka

.. Oh! YEAH IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

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From: Luka

To: Miku

Thank god, UGH!

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From: Miku

To: Rinto

YOU'RE RIN'S BIOLOGICAL TWIN THAT HAS A REALLY HUGE CRUSH ON ME SO THAT'S WHY YOU SENT ME A PICTURE OF A HOT GUY SO THAT YOU COULD IMPRESS ME!

NICE!

When should we meet? ;)

* * *

**A/N; /HUGE FACEPALM**

**This is what happens when I suffer from PCD. (Post-Concert Depression.)**

**Night, lovelies!**

(1) - This is obviously not true since Rin is actually chasing after Len, but Miku, being the biased Rin-loving person she is, sees it otherwise.


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